Yoll

This whole thing about having a vacation. It not going as smooth as I hoped it would I must say. I try to convince myself to rest. And let it go. But damn how hard it is to just be. Doing nothing. Every night I go to bed I am so filled with anxiety cause I feel I lost another day because I didn’t work. Or study. Or read more. Just because I only cooked. Cleaned like one of those housewives. Met my friends. Went Shopping. . Had a coffee in town. Went to the beach. Or just simply stayed home and watched movies all day long. Why is it so hard to relax? I read the news everyday (and Magazines as well) and I see all this success. People who started this great company. Or won a talent contests. Or got their dream job. And it stresses me up. Cause I don’t have that success. Yet. I am just sitting here. Trying my best to not do anything at all right now. To let both my body and soul rest. But I am so bad at that. I simply don’t know how to make that function. How much I try to convince myself that I need this. Instead my mind is full of ideas and hopes that got mixed with a big doze of stress and anxiety.